I have "pandemic hair". I didn't get it cut for almost 2 years and it's grown to the middle of my back now. If I don't keep my hair tied back, I play with it compulsively; I have no idea why. Hair twisting and my knee jiggling are two of my most noticeable stims.
I woke up too early again today. My ear worm of the day is "Hush" by Deep Purple, a band on which I'm currently hyperfocused. I will obsess about different things, and it's almost all I think about for a varying period of time. If it's a band, I will listen to their music constantly, collect all of their records, learn the history of the band and all of the members. Trivia rules my brain. On the plus side, I get to expand my musical knowledge and listen to bands I remember from childhood.
I consider myself a jack of all trades, master of none. I've never had the attention span to have a "career", only passing jobs that piqued my interest: I wanted more records, I worked in a record store. I wanted more books, I worked in a bookstore. I wanted to buy a house, I went to work for a mortgage company. I've noticed that I get spam that tells me I can do all these different new jobs, but none of them pay well at all. My current job is probably most suited to my interests and it's held my attention for 15 years now. I'm grateful that I found this job. It has offered me stability, which I crave; something reliable to occupy my jumbled brain.
I often wonder what my life would have been like if I had been diagnosed as a child and received treatment then. If I think too much about that, I will get very depressed. It doesn't do any good to think about what was, only what IS. I have to make the best with what I've been dealt.
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