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Tuesday, May 3, 2022

Self Defense

 


When I was a kid, teachers would express disappointment in my school performance: "You're so smart, you need to apply yourself", "Why do you think of such weird stuff? Concentrate on the subject! Use your brain!", etc. I would defend myself by thinking that they would eat those words, because I'm going to be famous one day". 

 Famous for what, I don't know. It was the only aspect of my psyche that had any ego whatsoever. I loathed myself otherwise, but I just knew that "something big" was going to happen to me someday. Maybe I would be a rock star, or write an Oscar winning movie? I wonder now if my ADHD diagnosis is that Big Thing, sort of a "you're finally going to find out who you really are" event. That would indeed be a Big Thing.

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