I feel like I'm on a plateau at the moment; not making much progress but not feeling worse, by any means. I'm still very distracted but I can focus much better for longer periods of time, so I've actually done some housework this past weekend. I need to remember the feeling of accomplishment and competence I feel after clearing up clutter. It's very true that a cluttered house causes a cluttered mind. Getting started is the hardest part.
I'm still in the floundering stage in dealing with my diagnosis. I grew up thinking that my mental and emotional difficulties were due to the abuse in my childhood, but finding out that the undiagnosed ADHD added so much more to that has prompted a flood of grief. I'm not sure how to deal with that yet. It seems disrespectful to myself that I think of ADHD as a whole new start, because I worked so hard as a kid and was almost never given the credit for my persistence. My past life experiences both good and bad have made me the person I am today. I don't want to start over. I want to be given credit where and when I deserve it. If I feel that I'm working hard and still not making progress, I want support. I don't need anyone telling me that if I "worked harder and tried to focus more", or "everyone has to do things that they don't find interesting, so deal with it!".
I've been dealing with a lot for a long time. I want a break. I want something, anything, to be easy for me.
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